Blogging is a Moving Meditation.

BLOGGING as a MOVING MEDITATION: Liminality's thin passage untangles as it weaves, fits in the ineffable nooks and crannies of my heart's prayer wall, like the cracks in pavement, mile markers on the road, windblown whimsical napkin poems written in eyeliner.

Friday, December 30, 2011

get to keep both your ears... is important in music- Shelia Walsh and Rich Mullins.

i love how he gets the scribble!
i love how she gets "then we get to keep both our ears".
both of which had breakdowns... that were break - thru's - thanks for the reminder on how to keep it freak'in real.

Rich Mullins Concert Part #5

I see why - "God is right and why the rest of us are just guessing!" - i so get Rich in this vid.


Thursday, December 29, 2011

in an 80's retro mode... Vega rocks.

been think'in on how there were some really profound women that were a staple for my musical diet.  - rich food.


to battles well fought....

in all the retrospect over this year... i guess this is a prayer for the fallen....
since the enemy wages war against our hearts and souls as well.................
this is a salute in the spirit...... for battles well fought.
for all of you that have "laid down their lives for a brother"...... there is no greater love. -
rest well in that awareness.
xocat


God with Skin on




So it’s the end of this year and i’m in the big process mode on many matters.  It would be so nice to be able to compartmentalize things into simple, straight forward, very square boxes.  Unfortunately, this is not how my brain operates.

I had a dream the other night in which i was being chased by 4 very bad dudes that wanted to do me harm.  (i’m so minimizing in that previous sentence ... but that’s because i don’t want to give it that much power)     Then when it finally looked like i was about to be “eliminated”; would be the operative word,  a dear friend showed up in the dream.... and really SHOWED UP... with love, authority and skill........................   I felt the rush of Angels come into the dream and pull me out.  (as though i was in another dimension)  -  

All pretty cool on some levels in retrospect... (but during it was an entirely different matter)-  and that is the really short version without trying to sacrifice accuracy for brevity.

I was terrified.  I’ve not run like that in a dream since i was a child.

There is enough symbology in the dream to sink the titanic to say the least.

Unpacking it from a strategical tactical level, soul-emotion level as well as practical spiritual level is always the long SELAH.

I use the term “practical spiritual level” in it’s most basic and functional meaning.    We tend to look at “spiritual” in superlatives; which granted ARE amazing.  

My basic “feeling” in the dream was fear.....   so what basic & practical levels can i deal with it through the Spirit.  “Perfect love casts out fear”.     In the dream, i had resigned myself that i was about to be taken out, if something didn’t have to happen pretty quickly.   Then a friend showed up, and i was actually surprised for a second, because, not only was it one of my most extraordinary friends, but they showed up for me.   I had to look back on it and wonder .... “why was i surprised that they showed up for me, when i know their character and their love for me?”

oh, big duh....

Since i know my friends aren’t perfect, hence, not being able to love perfectly it always takes me by surprised when i see His perfect love working through them; or ME in that matter!

I’m so glad God consistently understands my heart, for it give me grace to understand my heart’s fears, pains, joys and hopes; therefore extending that to others as well.

One of my biggest fears is abandonment.  Yes, it’s been there since a child, so it’s hard to shift an emotional imprint in soul DNA -if i may use that term; since some of that was effecting/affecting me IN uterine.   What i can do now is see that for what it was then and now how it tends to creeps back in to mess with my head.

I’ve gotten hit by that pretty hard these past few months.

I’m not too surprised that i would have a dream such as i did the other night.

I think abandonment is one of the most basic of fears on a primary survival level.   As babies and children our survival depends on another and if that other is removed or leaves; it can have devastating effects.

Piaget’s “object permanence” theory is a good humanistic example of how we operate.

“Jean Piaget argued that object permanence is one of an infant's most important accomplishments, as without this concept, objects would have no separate, permanent existence. In Piaget's theory of cognitive development infants develop this understanding by the end of the "sensorimotor stage," which lasts from birth to about 2 years of age.  Piaget thought that an infant's perception and understanding of the world depended on their motor development, which was required for the infant to link visual, tactile and motor representations of objects. According to this view, it is through touching and handling objects that infants develop object permanence.” wiki


So MY dilemma with the deeper issue of “Abandonment by God”, stems into of the lack of visual, tactile and motor aspects of His Presence.     The closest i come to the deep sensory integration pressure that is required to still my often wrest-less soul is only when i sense His Kabod; which is Hebrew word for weight or heaviness of God.

Sensory integration and motor development is such an issue.  Being sensitive to His leading Spirit and His Word to be able to mitigated all the fluxing and swirling of the emotional and physical world around us. Then being activated to MOVE with Him as “a cloud by day and a fire by night.”

To remember in all my fears, that He is permanency incarnate; but also shows up in daily human form to touch and lay hands to what is needed.

Thank you God that “surely your arm is not short.”  

selah,
Cathryn

Thursday, December 15, 2011