Blogging is a Moving Meditation.

BLOGGING as a MOVING MEDITATION: Liminality's thin passage untangles as it weaves, fits in the ineffable nooks and crannies of my heart's prayer wall, like the cracks in pavement, mile markers on the road, windblown whimsical napkin poems written in eyeliner.

Saturday, June 04, 2011

Ok - first and foremost... please google NAKED PASTOR... David is brilliant and is part of the reason for this post!!!

I know i have a sick sense of humour- the reason i’m using the Brit version of HUMOUR is cuz for most situations, U is missing in the context of some of that! Actually, i was taught phonetics and i’d spell that fo-net-icks in grammar school (yeah, the “grammar” part should be the pun already there)-  but ... 
My Dad was part English and part Italian - and when i asked him to correct my spelling he agreed that the U should be in words like colour, behaviour and humour, is heard... and should be there, and it’s just the american version of such is what is screwed up.
But getting back to the M.A.S.H like chuckle.  
I really can’t help it, i usually have a lil voice in my head that has an under-currant of tag lines running almost ceaselessly, when i’m in every day dialogue.  That could be ode to growing up in a North Eastern State as well- but that would bring in the nature vs. nature debate.
But this has caused me significant discomfort- (aka- trouble) in “christian community”. 
Mostly cuz it’s been called “sarcastic” -  which in many situations is quite accurate.  (i had a friend ask me to give up “sarcasm” for lent, and it lasted all of 15 minutes, i must say, that was longer than “said person” could give up their ego, which was my lent-ant challenge back)
I’d like to say, it’s mostly more “ironic” than “sarcastic”...  
It’s been my way of mitigating the blatantly apparent discrepancies  in context as to “what should be” and “what is” on many matters.
It’s also the only way i’ve maintained somewhat sanity - (yes, Jury is still out on that matter)  But.. truth be told... hand on heart and all that jazz, it is my coping mechanism.
It’s how i deal with the Pauline lament: “what i do i don’t want to do and what i don’t do i want to”....  yes, that was so loosely translated, i need someone to come hammer a tent peg in the ground.
But REALLY-  think of it..... from birth we are pushed into the light, slapped into breathing, hopefully without forceps and we live ... , eat, drink, cry, laugh and then by death- forced into the light, hopefully without celestial forceps! 
What’s in the GAP-  
the WILL........ Will of man vs. Will of God. 
There is a shit load of humour in that gap space.
My life experience has been filled with all the “versa”.  - Faith vs. Unbelief, Acceptance vs. Rejection, Love vs. Hate, Tender Touches vs. Sexual/Physical/Emotional abuse, Work vs. Play, Hope vs. Despair, Laughing vs. Crying, Excitement vs. Mundane-  yeah, you get the point.  So what’s in the middle besides mitigating?  How do we mitigate or negotiate these apparent contrasts and occasionally juxtapositions?
My first comparative was Faith vs. Unbelief, and i say that because i’m fighting the Disbelief.....
If i couldn’t make fun, laugh, pun at, sarcastically raise an eyebrow on most of it... i’d be wallowing in disbelief.  For me, that is far more dangerous than “unbelief”, because if i just didn’t believe, it would be so much easier.  However, disbelief raises all sorts of flags in my spirit, because it means i want to believe, but i’ve resigned myself that i can’t because of all the discrepancies.
So instead of being the Jeremiah prophet beating the church with a sledge hammer of conviction weighted by guilt; i sorta rib it enough to remind of the dirt and bone that it was originally formed.
i do really long to see the fullness of which it was all originally intended.  However, due to my tent making day job and the stuff i’ve seen go down in the Body...... big B there, if i’m not pulling punches or taking the piss outta of it, i’d be outta the game.
It maybe a sarcastic grin or a ironic chuckle- but if i don’t laugh, i’d be crying on many matters, and i save that for intercession.
Which considering i do that a lot, i’m only praying the tears i sow, in prayer, on this dry ground of experience, brings forth some life.
till then, i’ll quote my favourite Clown Prophet.... “fuck’em if they can’t take a joke!”

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