Blogging is a Moving Meditation.

BLOGGING as a MOVING MEDITATION: Liminality's thin passage untangles as it weaves, fits in the ineffable nooks and crannies of my heart's prayer wall, like the cracks in pavement, mile markers on the road, windblown whimsical napkin poems written in eyeliner.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

10. Michael Card - God's Own Fool

Michael Card is an amazing man... theologian - writer- composer...
this is still one of my fav.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Derek Chapman's 40th Birthday! Happy Birthday bro.... salute to ya!

Today is not only St. Patrick's Day- it is one of my dearest friends -

Mr. Derek Chapman's 40th Birthday.

I want to take this opportunity to share how this amazing man popped up on the World's TV Screen - as a well needed "break to our regularly scheduled programing!"-

God's secret agent Kingdom Clown - who has more antics and secret weapons in his mixed matched socks, pointy shoes, pens, and red fuzzy noses, than Maxwell Smart from "Get Smart"!!! For those of you who may not know such the obscure reference, because you're young, from another country, or both................ just google. But i will say Derek has a much SMARTER and BEA-U-TI-FUL wife than "99" could have ever hoped or aspired to be! Amy you Rock!!!!

I met Derek at "City Stage" in NC - years ago.... Figures we would meet at a Festival titled that!

God loves the dramatic and i think HE took some comical pleasure in setting the stage for this meeting!

I had been listening to a band ... and felt that elbow of Holy Spirit to go pray for these guys after their set ended. As my friends will tell you... i'm not exactly the shy type, and if i get that God nudge, i'd rather be obedient to what i hear, and chance being "off" or "missing it" or "getting it wrong" or other things that are tied into pride or fear, than miss responding to the Heart of my Abba. So i looked at phil- (now hubby) and told him what i was sensing - Phil and i just starting to hang out on a regular basis and i had opened up the door to my home as a refuge/ freedom space to a bunch of amazing, at times frustrating, ragamuffins/ artisans.

I walked up to the group and asked if they would mind if i prayed for them- the head of the band was this older fellow (and i say that now with a grin- he must have been in his mid 50's) and was more that happy to have people pray and wanted to make sure his son (who looked a bit like Jeff Beck with a ciggy hanging out of his mouth as he played) - "got-- 'sum prayer".

During that pause, this very tall, lanky and tender looking character walked up beside me. I turned and said "hi, my name is Cathryn" and he said "Hi my name is Derek, i felt the worship a few blocks down".

Needless to say, he joined right in praying for this group and after that we hung out and got to know each other a bit. He had just returned to NC from California where there was a organic-ee house type church thingy going on -

My prophetic radar was up and we sat down and prayed- there was a bunch of good Holy Spirit "heebie-jeebies" goings on - enough so to make me joyfully jittery at what God was sneaking in sideways to my life and heart; and from the moment we met i sensed that this was one of those divine appointments that would forever change my life.

I invited him back to the house and we hung out on the deck and shared some more... I took out my guitar and play a song that i had just finished writing (Tender Warrior), and the Spirit of God just hovered around us.
It felt like i was sitting with an old friend that was veteran of Battle- and somehow we had known one another in a different Spirit time and space. His ways were comical and serious all at the same time and God was already speaking to my heart about some of the things he had been through. It was kindred hearts, brother/sister like in that moment and i knew deep within my spirit, that i had met a man that was soooo remarkable, bold and yet humble, that God was smiling over him.

He stayed that night, (not too surprising - because there was an open door policy at my house- "if God brought 'em there, they were welcome") - and he slept on what is now known as "the God chair"- which is no more than a over sized chair that has a pull out single bed- Funny thing about it's reputation, is that whoever sleeps on it gets "something they need"- whether it be a dream, God hug, save place to cry- ect...
I think what he needed at that time was a safe place to take off his boots and rest his sword (at least for THAT night). - some of the rest of that would have to be for a much longer post, and i would have to be quite pissed/drunk in the spirit or in the natural........ to even attempt it- (hope your eyes are rolling and your laughing D!)

He was staying at his parents in Winston- Salem for a bit, but then showed up very late one night, while i was sitting on the back deck. (late and early are interchangeable because some would consider 11:45 pm late- but we were often up to wee early hours in the morning- nothing much has changed in that area LOL!)

I had been battling with some things and standing in hard spaces (going thru divorce, people hearing about the house and dropping in- stephen was already living there, and i never quite knew who would be walking in the door, or what was gonna happen- deliverance/healing- plus the church i was going to was already giving the proverbial disapproving raised eyebrow to the entire concept)

Derek was the first person to actually semi-label what it was.... as "organic church"- based upon his experience of what was happening (mostly in California and the UK), and his friendship with the notorious Andrew Jones. (wink) At that point, i had no awareness of what is now known as the Emerging Church- i was just doing what i felt God put on my heart to do, even if it was a bit "outside the box"- or "slightly unorthodox."

That night Derek just simply walked up on the back deck- suitcase in hand and said... "God told me to come guard the Queen". I laughed out loud, because what he didn't know, was that Phil's nickname for me was "the Queen"- and even in that early phase of "the goings on of Jehovah Sneaky"- i was flying by the seat of my pants spiritually and praying hard that i would get what HE wanted me to get and do it well and right.

Thus began the tighter knitting of our hearts in love and friendship- and in retrospect, there was no way in heaven or hell would i have been able to fly from that trapeze with out his hand of friendship grabbing hold on the other side of that swing. There was no safety net below and no time to practice; it felt more like an improvisational high wire walk with the swinging of the trapeze intersecting at right angles.

At this moment i'm hearing the song "there is a sucker born every minute" from the Broadway musical "Barnum" playing in my head... so i looked it up.....

"There's a sucker born every minute" is a phrase often credited to P.T. Barnum (1810 – 1891), an American showman. It is generally taken to mean that there are (and always will be) a lot of gullible people in the world.
The earliest known appearance of the phrase in print is in Opie Read's 1898 novel A Yankee from the West
Opie Percival Read (b. Dec. 22, 1852, Nashville TN; d. Nov. 2, 1939, Chicago IL) was a prolific American journalist and humorist. His bibliography lists 60 published books.

I don't particularly like the word gullible because of it's implications, so i looked up the synonyms, and here are a few....... believing, fall for, fleeceable, foolish, susceptible, swallow whole, trustful, unskeptical and wide-eyed.

Well i guess in the world's eyes, we are all gullible to believe that God is not only with us and for us, but also orchestrates this improvisational circus we call life. That being so..... believing, falling for, swallow whole, trustful, unskeptical and wide eyed are the words and the choice i'd rather make in believing in His Kingdom, His Plans and His Love for us.

I guess that's all part of it.... and Derek came into my life at a time i needed a clown to show up on the battlefield. He affirmed a place in me that it was ok to trust again, to be playful and enjoy even amidst the danger of human fickled hearts and the "Church" lack of understanding.

That the part of my "Pollyanna" heart could be mixed with cynical battlefield demeanor and that some weapons in this fight for freedom (for ourselves and others)- not only consists of love that would be willing to lay it's life down, but also humor at God's apparently ironic nature.

There were many "adventures" we traveled together in God's cosmic neighborhood, some quite hysterical with gold dust showing up everywhere and Baptisms in the 8 person Jacuzzi, to the all time classic - where Derek was ministering to one who had some serious sexual brokenness issues and asked.... "so HOW many times did you NOT sleep with that guy you took a shower with?".

Then there were "adventures" that tested the very measure of strength and fiber of our triune being. Even in the difficult parts, where all constants became variables, where seemingly blind faith was still present faith, powerful enough to see in darkness; forged love and trust. The fire of circumstance and enemy assaults became a honing of our swords and on the occasion ours would cross (some misdirected transference, strife bullshit or whatever..) - it resulted in iron sharpening iron - and that metal only gets stronger when it's stuck.

I'm not saying that if i could i would change some parts of it, just that we were "gullible enough" to trust God even when someone "left the tigers cage open". I could always count on Derek to pull his sword out, even when he was barely awake and still in his underwear! (metaphorically speaking of course)

Two Proverbs........... that would define our friendship would have to be this..........

Proverbs 27:17
17 Iron sharpeneth iron; So a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.
Proverbs 17:17
17A friend loves at all times, and is born, as is a brother, for adversity.

I have been given the privilege of knowing such a man and brother in Sir Derek Chapman!

In both Love and Adversity...............

A man that would gladly lay down his life for those he loves, a man who's hearts desire is to see God's Kingdom show up mightily. A man that still holds the wonder of child likeness, wide-eyed amazement. A man who actually sees God's daughters as Queens. A man who's heart is willing to be broken for what breaks God's heart. A man willing to fight for what or WHO God says is worthy. A man who is a prophetic voice willing to share in balloon and bubble like fashion God's impartations and visions... so that other too can walk into their destiny. A man who i am eternally grateful to my Abba, that i can call friend.

Derek wears a Comical/Posh Classic assortment of hats, glasses, wigs, belts, boots and shoes... and some would call him color blind in his mix-matching (wink)----- HA! if they knew- I can never look at the color ORANGE the same way again!!!

But by far my favorite in his Vesture/Mantle-- are his vests. Every time i see him wearing one of his MANY---- i still see the same thing in the spirit!!! It is laced with medals of honor and the multifaceted jewels of Aaron's Breastplate.

This day however, in the spirit, i saw a new medal...... " THE PURPLE HEART."

In the natural it is awarded in the name of the President to those who have been wounded or killed while serving---------------- but since i saw it in the spirit----------

i know that it was God's heart speaking of such heroics and self sacrifice, that though he has been wounded, would continue to lay his life down for the sake of the Cross.

I am one of many that would attest to this truth, as i am also one of the many that Derek risked his life for...... (and was wounded for..... either by me or for me!)

Thank you my dear brother and friend.... Thank you for all you are, all that you are allowing God to continue forming in you, Thank you on behalf of the many that will never say thank you----
and i hear the Captain of the Angel Armies - Your ABBA................ say THANK YOU.

It is my honor and privilege to Honor you this day.

Your sister and friend -
Happy Birthday - wish i was there... but you know i am in Spirit!

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Beach.... High Ground Views-

Sharing my views............................. Seems God is opinionated as well.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Scandalon Storm

Michael Card
The seers and the prophets had foretold it long ago
That the long awaited one would make men stumble
But they were looking for a king to conquer and to kill
Who'd have ever thought He'd be so meek and humble
He will be the truth that will offend them one and all
A stone that makes men stumble
And a rock that makes them fall
Many will be broken so that He can make them whole
And many will be crushed and lose their own soul
Along the path of life there lies a stubborn Scandalon
And all who come this way must be offended
To some He is a barrier, To others He's the way
For all should know the scandal of believing
It seems today the Scandalon offends no one at all
The image we present can be stepped over
Could it be that we are like the others long ago
Will we ever learn that all who come must stumble

Scandalon Storm-

I’m writing this in the middle of a massive storm on the shoreline of Myrtle Beach South Carolina- The wind is swirling and I’m trying to wedge myself against the pane of the sliding glass door as not to get wet from the downpour or hit by the trenchant lightning display. Safety is somewhat relative at the moment- due to the blaring warning coming off the TV, stating that there is tornado activity and possible touching down. My husband Phil is looking at me with that familiar quizzical glare that says… “Are you flipping mad!”--- With the grin that says….. I know you feel safe in HIS storms.

But I just can’t close the door … it would muffle the intensity of such a convergence.
The sweet smell of a torrential down pour from the heavenlies mixed with the salt whaling cry of a surging sea with lighting regaling it’s cleansing splendor and thunder echoing refrain; is powerfully drawing me to the knowledge of the finiteness of being.

The timing of the waves merged in sounds of thunder reminds me of grey tempest like Jazz. In the natural, I’ve never been drawn to that style of music. I much preferred the story telling of Folk or the intensity driven surging rifts of classic rock… but the intuitive song of my soul, has always been a mixture of E minor chords, sailing arias, Middle Eastern rhythms, Djimbays, dulcimers, frame drums, Celtic-lamenting bag pipes, monastic chants with a shofar call to worship or war.

- Even in the storm, the ocean sings a lullaby to my Spirit and I counter weave a harmony of my soul. I’ve yet to hear on this earthly plane, the composition of the nations- that only in thin places, where the veil is made permeable, I’ve heard played in the third heaven.

The white caps seem to dance higher with each flash from the nights sky as the waves pour out their strength on sands of this shore. I remember how God brooded over the waters at creation and wonder in His foreknowledge did the weight of His tears and the emoting of His passion cause such a love storm.

I’ve always had an infatuation with ocean storms; perhaps it’s that recklessness of youth where fear did not hold me captive. I was never ignorant of its danger, but more of renegades resolve that drew me there.

I’ve stood on the shores of Israel in Tel Aviv in 2000, just a few months before the pending storm of war, yet the seas prophetic portents gushed and receded in lament; before all hell was about to break loose. It was there the first day, on Shabbat, that I read the book of Esther and God reminded me of my queenly, yet warrior stature.

I understood that steadfast prayer and resolve were one and the same; that what matter most to HIM was the willingness to stand in the gap and love- despite hope deferred. Somehow, I knew that He had been training me from my youth and the vast wadi like experience of parched love to learn to love as the alabaster jar, of future poured out, like water.

I grew up with summers spent at the Jersey Shore where the temperature of the waters never got above my teeth chattering. I always climbed out on to Jetty rocks at the inlets where one slip would have met with crashing waves and a crevice I couldn’t possible have gotten out of…. and 9 times out of 10 I was alone. I always went to the shoreline during Nor’easters or hurricanes.

I’ve driven to the outer banks in North Carolina, Christmas eve with my puppy Selah in the middle of a snow storm, over a 10 mile bridge that was swaying from the wind with sleet daring my tires to stay on the road, only to drive on a strip of a 2 lane highway for 60 miles where the snow & sand was blown like a big broom would sweep across the road and I think only by angelic assistance did I actually not find myself crashed on a sandbank at 2 AM.

The most recent memory before tonight, was standing on the shoreline in England, my friends had no idea how much those waters touched my heart and soothed my spirit. It’s reminder of despite shifting sand… that the rock I stand upon was also once the Scandalon thus became the corner stone.

During the most intense and painful times of my life have I found myself seeking shelter at coastlines, praying for the storm to remind me that fleeting trials and circumstance only pales at the raging beauty and love MY FATHER has for me.

It’s there/ here….. I’m reminded, amidst the rhythmical heartbeat of waves crashing and wind ripping, that HE did not speak in the lightning or the thunder, while I was hiding in some cave of my heart. He spoke quietly my name and drew me out into the battle – knowing that in HIM always will be my refuge and safety.

Perhaps, it’s His love for me that would remind me of the salt water, wept tears of the womb of God, perhaps because I was taken from an earthly womb prematurely HE would call me back again and again to restore that which was stolen. Redemption and recompense is the crest of His Hearts wave that brings me home.

Lovingly, cathryn

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

She without arm, he without leg - ballet - Hand in Hand

I've worked with people with disabilities for the past 20 years... and i still think there are more emotionally disabled than physically- where hearts can't dance.
We all are a part of this Body of Christ.... where we are disabled by wounds or circumstances - lets dance together - and find our Freedom in Him..... being a hand extended in Love to each other.... Amen?

Friday, March 07, 2008

Love Wept... - (JOHN 11:35)

The unspoken said, “do I dare breath it?”
The unheard answered, “why bother?”
Silence echoed a nod.
Love broke down weeping.

Cathryn Thomas 3/7/08

Saturday, March 01, 2008

Juxtaposition of the Cross....

God's got stuff up His Celestial Sleeve.... It's always amazing what He's up to... and the part about it... is that one gaze from the High Ground, one revelation, one drop of His living water, one Kiss of His Spirit, one Touch of His Love, one sound of the Roar of the Lion of Judah..........changes everything.

At first it's a drastic exchange of death to life, but then.... it gets deeper. Our being in Him, essence, fabric of our soul, how we "live, move and have our being" is transformed. If we give Him permission, Resurrection with all the Life that comes... is daily. Thing about it... is also that dying daily to self is kinda the juxtaposition. Can't have one without the other.
Kingdom choice and who we are really gonna serve... with the reminder that it's worth it.
Just pondering the universe again...- we've all got a divine part to play. The juxtaposition of the Cross.... is our true weight and measure of how we are called to Love.
Shalom Ya All......