Blogging is a Moving Meditation.

BLOGGING as a MOVING MEDITATION: Liminality's thin passage untangles as it weaves, fits in the ineffable nooks and crannies of my heart's prayer wall, like the cracks in pavement, mile markers on the road, windblown whimsical napkin poems written in eyeliner.

Sunday, December 07, 2008

Christmas Angst

I guess Holidays are hard for a lot of people, self included. Though God's blessed me with an amazing extended family of friends, it still is a difficult time. I know - i know ... it's za'posed to be all bells, lights and christmas carols ... and for the most part it is. Just that there seems to be that gnawing angst when family relationships are less than what they could be. Home has always been "where i hang my hat" so to speak, i left my home pretty young due to some shitty dynamics. I guess the holidays bring that back to surface, even though there has been a lot of heart healing along the way. But isn't that sorta the same on a Kingdom point of view... His kids still aren't getting along and have denominational issues. Getting every one in the same room can be tense and there can be some sibling rivalries and bickering. I do kinda wonder what Abba God thinks about the whole shin dig... well besides the point that i think God's still celebrating the Chanukah part of it... (we created the Christmas thingy) i've always wondered that if Christians would go back to celebrating Chanukah - we would have a 'lil more time to press into the season, rather than the build up to one big day, it could be more spread out, thus the love could be more spread about. My heart aches for all the broken relationships and spaces where hearts need a miracle touch. All the pressure of commercialism just adds to it... like their isn't enough already in life. I'm gonna press in a bit and touch what Austin holds as a new page to our journey. Hoping and praying that peace and joy sing louder than some of my hearts lament on other things. Shalom ya all

1 comment:

  1. i just stumbled across your blog. well not really stumbled, saw a link to it from kiwi's site. anyway. i have really enjoyed reading. much of what you say strikes a chord with me. and this christmas angst. so know what you are talking about...peace.