Wednesday, September 24, 2008
One of the most profound things that the Lord said to me....... a few years back now... when i was questioning (as i often do)- but it i was after some debate on The Cross, and why His death - and how He died- looked and was so unbearable in the torturous reality.
He said, "The Cross was just as much of My Glory - and if it wasn't for the forgiveness I extended from it, - the Resurrection couldn't have been possible" -
and i realized in that moment, He brought me some how, back in time, to that point........ when He extended His forgiveness --"Father, forgive them for they know not what they do." That the reality in that moment, was that act of forgiveness broke every bond - that if He didn't forgive, from that place, He couldn't have been raised from the dead. That He would have been bound, and thereby, we would have been bound- by that same sin......... In that - when we forgive, even when it's unjust, unbearable, unrighteous, unholy, - even in excruciating pain- We hold the keys that once held us captive, but we then release that power over another- to set them free. Resurrection power is not a one time event, even as Paul says, "that we die to ourselves daily"- if that is truth, then the Resurrection is daily too. when we die to ourselves, it allows us to Live deeper in His Resurrection power.
I'm not saying it's easy, for this world is an unjust court- then we have the court in our heads- and all our inner debate on worth, validity, experience and lack. I've stammered at God before, with the statement, "well Your God, and i'm not"- so how can i extend that type of selflessness - and He reminded me that "the mystery of the Gospel" is that He is living (conquered hell, death and the grave)- actually living with and IN us. Even in the most feeble attempt, when i want to pick back up, from the foot of that cross, what i just laid down--- even in the most humanist of endeavoring - He is able to use the weakness of our often fickle hearts- because His grace is sufficient and made perfect.
Thing is - I'm a Judges daughter x's 2- My earthly dad was a Judge and sat on the bench for 46 years - "Workman's Compensation Judge"- which is a bit prophetic enough, but my dad is fond of saying, "I didn't go into Criminal Law, because there was too many criminals in the Law"- He came to know Jesus in a near death experience and learned of Grace in a profound way- taught me it.... and it cost a lot.... Some of it i know the price daily, and though it's been excruciating at times, i wouldn't change it. Often times forgiveness is a daily walk, i can think of so many reasons that justify my holding on to anger- and often times i do..... but then the reality of "what was done - was done"-- the more i hold it, the less i can extend myself to the Unconditional, relentless Love of ABBA....... He didn't hold back. The only thing i want to hold to is the Hem of His garment and His irrevocable promises, that are mine in and By Him.
I mostly wrote this out- to remind myself.............. He said to "call Me to remembrance"- and even in that..... He didn't just remember me, HE knew my unformed substance. It's good to remember- the price, the cost, the Holy Fire that is only kindled by the Living Power of Resurrection.