Blogging is a Moving Meditation.

BLOGGING as a MOVING MEDITATION: Liminality's thin passage untangles as it weaves, fits in the ineffable nooks and crannies of my heart's prayer wall, like the cracks in pavement, mile markers on the road, windblown whimsical napkin poems written in eyeliner.

Monday, December 18, 2006


shalom ya all-
wanted to share..... i've sorta taken a semi- people break the last few days.... had to do a few "have to things" like Phil's boss's Christmas party tonight... it's late and i really need to sleep... but was feeling ya all..... and ya'all's prayers... THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! after crying and being frustrated for seemingly weeks....... Friday night at Stephens "release party"... there really was a release in the Spirit....i just went into thrash mode in dance... they went into this warfare drum thing (thought you'd like that paul!)------- it was stoked! (and it's not as though i was taking any authority stuff... i wasn't even thinking on that level....) just drums of the tribe...... blasting a way into 3rd heaven... then it went into some steep instrumental stuff that put me flat out on the floor..... and though it doesn't change some of the stuff i'm walking back into on Tuesday..... it sort of refocused my sight..... THAT ALL OF THIS IS NOT PASSING BY HIM UN-AWARE.....

I felt the Fog of War part.... some of you are familiar with that term... but for those of you that aren't.. it's the place in a fire fight when the smoke from the battle becomes so thick you can't even see your hand in front of your face.... all constants become variables.... and when your shooting you can't even see what your shooting at.... (nor can others... so that's where friendly fire can really do havoc)

My brother Anthony (dude in the pic) once said something that i've NEVER forgotten.... "when your in the "fog of war", old orders are still good orders"......... The order HE always gives me is to "hold ground" in that situation. Don't move until HE says move.... and when He does speak... move quickly. I don't know what He's gonna do next.... but I know ..... HE's on it..... and thank you all for praying heaven move on my behalf.... your prayers did just that.

I know that HE is my constant... in the storm.... HE is the Northern Star..... and HE doesn't change...... even when my emotions are rocking harder than any sea could.

Phil and i watched 911 today... middle of the afternoon.... and i cried for like 3 hours...... it was crushing... and most of ya all know the stuff i was getting before it happened..... so watching it was like Friday nights worship.... but in this realm....... intense.... raw.... painful.... powerful... and passionate. It just reminded me that our life is but a vapor.....and yet..... it is so precious.

That the Kingdom Now part is that we have a divine destiny in the Spirit... that what we do here and now affects multitudes. .... and sometimes just ONE.... for the ONE is our Mission. There was a Marine in that movie... and he really was like Spirit...... focused & intense... and he was walking towards the wreckage---- he said to one guy who basically said...."you can't seen nothing with all that smoke"... the Marine answered back..... "that God uses the smoke to shield our eyes from what we are not ready to see". (and ANTHONY my beloved Marine brother... i was thinking of you at that moment and how proud i am of you ... that you still walk where you can't see)

But that part really hit my spirit hard. - he walked straight into the rubble when the "search was called off because it was night"- He didn't just numb out to the surroundings.... he saw everything.... and yet went searching for ANYONE still alive in all of that. When he found the 2 guys.... in the middle of the dialogue.... he shouted "i'm a Marine.... YOU are our mission".

Our mission is still the same.... Isaiah 61 ---

"The Spirit of God, the Master, is on me because God anointed me.
He sent me to preach good news to the poor, heal the heartbroken, announce freedom to all captives, pardon all prisoners. God sent me to announce the year of his grace- a celebration of God's destruction of our enemies and comfort all who morn. To care for the needs of all who mourn in Zion, give them bouquets of roses instead of ashes, Messages of joy instead of news of doom, a praising heart instead of languid spirit. Rename them "Oaks of Righteousness" planted by God to display his glory........."
(The Message)

Old orders are still good orders!
The primary directive of the enemy is always the same.... To steal, kill & destroy.....
Let's keep focus ... and carry out ours!
That's where i'm at.... thanks to your prayers.... much love beloved! cathryn

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